Get Your own Damn Ride

Everyone needs one, has one or used to have one – a carpool.

If you don’t have a carpool yet, get one.   Swimmers swim.  A lot.  Unless you can walk to the pool from your house (and if you plan to sell it, call me) there is no way you want to spend this much time at a pool.  It is hot, humid and the same damn people are there every single day.  With the same bratty non swimming siblings who run up and down the freaking hallway because they are bored out of their minds.  You can read, provided you can find a nice quiet place but most of these people never shut up.  I don’t.   Find a carpool.  Get the swim taxi magnet.  It is hysterical.  For a week.

Now you have a carpool.  Instead of listening to the adults who talk incessantly about their swim stars, the car is now filled with the mindless ranting of  7 kids aged 9-12.  They scream, they sing “I am sexy and I know it” and they talk about themselves non-stop.  They destroy your car with Gatorade spills and Power Bar mashed into the seats.  They chant McDonald’s over and over on the way home until the car drives itself through the drive through because it can’t take it anymore.  You begin premixing cocktails before you leave the house so you can start the Vodka drip the minute you get home.  The carpool has to end.

If you are smart, you will end yours by changing swim teams and not telling anyone!  Driving to the pool seven days a week is complete bliss when the only kids fighting in the car belong to you.   Keep the magnet, you earned it.  The hard way.

None of this applies if you are able to negotiate a carpool which I have coined “the Allison”.  “the Allison” mom has a master’s degree in  logistics and is able to mastermind a carpool in which her car remains in the garage seven days a week.  She doesn’t even know where the pool is.  “the Allison” will always have a leg of the carpool which she is able to get out of at a moments notice!  If you have worked the carpool gods such that you don’t do a thing, pat yourself on the back.  Bold and clever move.

(names have been change to protect the greedy who make me drive their kids everywhere!)

One thought on “Get Your own Damn Ride

  1. As you might have guessed part of a carpool has ended. They just don’t last. We had a carpool with another family. A 3rd family needed in when a 4th family had a swimmer move down a practice level due to injury for at least 2 months. We let this family in.

    In the first two weeks the swimmer got sick for two days, the family got concert tickets at the last second, the swimmer had two much homework one night and lastly the swimmer didn’t want to go to dryland and the driver said ok and was only going to drive the kids to practice. The driver wasn’t driving all of those days, but we saw a pattern coming. And our family and the other family kicked the 3rd family out.

    I am sure there will be hard feelings, but my better half and the other family just could not deal with last second changes to the schedule except once in a while.

    Such a interesting world in the life of a carpool.

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