Not only do I let my kids watch Toddlers and Tiaras but I encourage it! I want them to see what it looks like when mom doesn’t workout, doesn’t have all of her teeth or marries a man who likes to wear pink (and sparkles).
It backfired. Now my girls are begging me to let them do a pageant.
This is not going to happen. Why you ask? Let me tell you why. There is no way in hell I am letting my kids be judged based on the way they look. I mean, they would win and shit and that wouldn’t be fair. More importantly though, pageants aren’t a sport.
I am starting to doubt swimming is either.
My daughter curls or flatirons her hair before practice (but never both).
She wears skinny jeans to dryland (as a personal trainer, group fitness instructor AND the owner of www.limeactivewear.com, none of this makes any sense to me).
Waterproof mascara? The norm.
12. Yes. She is 12. Couldn’t point to a boy in her group and call him by name so it obviously isn’t a boy.
Favorite pastime with her swim friends – going to the mall and buying things at Abercrombie and Fitch. Doesn’t matter what as long as it is a tank top, yoga pants or skinny jeans.
It’s a freaking pageant before the meet, after the meet, and let’s be real – in between races.
We don’t “do” Red Bull and Pixie Sticks. Too trailer park. Swimming is a high class sport – we do Starbucks, Godiva and Swedish Fish.
Screw ribbons, we are changing the kids names to Brialeighanna, Haileyashleigha, and Lovelyfastswimmer (Tiara names at their finest). Give me a goddamn tiara. I am wearing the bitch home.