Somebody that I used to know…

Yesterday, Grace swam 100 Backstroke at JO’s.  She had a great swim – knocked off 2 seconds which moved her up 34 places.  Grace is a pro at big meets.  Generally I drop her off at the door for meets but this time she parked with me. Good thing too, the meet was at University of Maryland and I couldn’t remember where the parking deck was.  She, of course, knew exactly where it was.  Six hours later she got a good laugh when I got turned around and we ended up in a dead-end parking lot.  Sometimes I swear she is smarter than me.  I glanced at her on deck as she was preparing to warm up and I was struck by how similar Sophie looks to her.  The older Sophie gets the more I see Grace in her.  For some reason today though I saw Grace’s eight year old self on deck.  I think it was her smile.  While grown up, she is still a little girl.

Last weekend after Sophie’s meet, Grace reminded me that when she was 8 I HATED swimming.  I stopped her.  I am not sure hate is a strong enough word for how I felt about swimming.  I laughed and told the tale of the last meet I went to for two years.  Grace was not quite 8.  Sarah 5 and Sophie was 2.5.  Like idiots, we decided the whole family should watch Grace swim, the meet was at our home pool – close to home.

I over estimated the entertainment value of swim meets and under estimated the need for entertainment and snacks for Sarah and Sophie.  In fact, I brought none.  I over dressed for the meet, assuming that since it was cold outside I would need to wear heavy clothing.  Chris being the swim dad that he is – immediately volunteered to time.  Leaving me with two small children, no cash or heat sheet and wisely no car keys – I would have bolted had transportation been available.

It was the longest 3 hours of my life.   If you have even taken small children to a meet you understand how I felt.  If you have ever been kicked by a bored, hot, hungry small child you also understand.  It was miserable and I missed all of Grace’s swims, I had no idea what she was swimming, let alone heat or lane.

I didn’t go to another swim meet for two years.  It was that bad.  Before you judge me, I went to soccer games, Girl Scout camping trips and was room moms.  I just was noticeably absent from swim meets.  So was Grace.  She didn’t compete at an indoor meet for nearly two years.  During that period we joined a summer swim team.  A few things happened.  I learned about swimming and came to understand it.  My kids also got older and more manageable.  By the time Grace returned to year round competition I was a full-blown swim mom.   I actually enjoy going to meets.

As I looked on deck yesterday and saw Grace I was overwhelmed with a sense of pride.  She has great coaches and wonderful friends.  We swim in a very supportive environment and it makes life so much better.  Grace tends to get very serious during meets but yesterday she was being goofy and having fun.  It reminded me of someone I used to know…her 8 year old self.  I am glad that she has matured but also love the playful side of her.  She is still a kid at heart.

It’s totally a diet…

I was talking to a group of moms the other night at the pool and a friend slid me a cook book I had asked to borrow – it had some great nutritious and healthy recipes I wanted to look at.  It didn’t take long for the conversation to turn to why I was borrowing the book.

My response was simple.  I put my family on a diet.

The word diet has apparently become taboo where children are concerned judging by the looks on the faces of a few of the moms.  I never got that memo.  They were shocked.  Maybe even horrified.

I’m unapologetic.  I work in a gym, am fit and a healthy weight.  But my diet has gradually turned to crap.  Literally.  We eat crap…We are busy.  I swear kids in sports eat worse than kids who are home more.  I barely have time to shop for food, let alone cook it.  I am guilty of doing everything I said I would never do.  We eat out, frozen meals and pizza.  I somehow convinced myself this was ok.  We were eating the good crap.

My youngest carries belly weight.  It isn’t baby fat anymore.  It is the chips with cheese and salsa.  Plain and simple.

The worst part is – I know better.  I know exactly what to feed myself and my kids.  But I don’t.  I am not proud of that.

I revamped our diet.  Eating healthy has a reputation for being expensive.  It isn’t.  The food I have been buying lately- the good food – isn’t cheap.  But neither was the junk food.  Feeding my family at Chipotle is an easy $50.  After two weeks I actually found that I spent less by cooking food with simple ingredients.  Two of my kids haven’t complained at all.   Grace even commented that she preferred everything I have cooked in the past few weeks over what we have eaten in the past.  Sophie loves healthy food.  She also loves the junk.  Sarah is struggling.  But I give her mad props for trying.  She is a work in progress.

The unexpected results?  I have lost 4 of the extra 5 pounds that I have been carrying around for the past two years.  I am sleeping great and feel fantastic.

I don’t know why it would be considered a bad thing to put my family on a diet.   I suspect there must be a more politically correct term for it.  I am not interested in what that may be.  I am only interested in keeping this up.  It isn’t easy but it also isn’t that hard.

On the way home from practice Sarah wanted to know when they would be done eating this healthy stuff.  My work here has just begun.

Can’t believe I am saying this

Day two with the teenager was a walk in the park.  It was just last year that I was always nervous when she swam.  Up until recently Sarah didn’t really care about swimming, she just did it for the socializing and she enjoyed the exercise.  Sophie was 7…if we could get through a meet with her with no tear we considered it a success.  The tide has shifted and all three girls are very focused on their races and success in the pool.

This isn’t to say I don’t care about Grace’s swimming any more.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  I am in awe of her dedication and focus to the sport.  She has been swimming consistently since she was 6.  It hasn’t come easy to her all the time either.  She has weathered unpredictable coaches, long plateaus and years of girl drama.  And still loves it.

Grace is becoming a young woman.  She used to need pumping up before meets and lots of encouragement.  She has found that inner fight on her own.  As well as inner peace.

Going into this meet she only had one JO cut and about 7 she was close to.   She had to pick five events and struggled with which five to choose.

During the morning session she swam 50 and 200 free.   While she didn’t make the JO cuts she took time off in both events and was pleased with her results.  After a quick rest at home we went back to the pool – stopping at Starbucks for her “go-go juice” – some kind of soy vanilla frozen thing.  She was concerned about how she would do in the afternoon session, she had 200 IM, 200 Back and 100 fly in pretty rapid succession.  Her coach and her dad suggested scratching one of the events.  She was furthest from the JO time in 100 fly but it was the last event and the one she most wanted to swim.

My advice is always different.  I am not a swimmer – I was in sales in my professional career.  My motto?  Simple, throw a lot of shit against the wall and see what sticks.  Simply put, swim your heart out in all three races and see what happens.

Her IM – the race she debated scratching was awesome.  She only needed to take off a second for the JO cut.  All was going well until she hit breaststroke.  I think she was tapering or something.  Not her best performance.  She added a second.

This is when I usually get really nervous.  But I didn’t.  Her next race was 200 back and I knew she would get the JO time.  She had swum it twice recently, once getting an oops DQ and once slipping on her start.  She had run through her excuses and it was time to swim it well.  And she did, taking of almost 4 seconds and getting her time.

She warmed down for 6 minutes and was back on the block for 100 fly.  She had a great swim, took off enough time to qualify for Dolan but missed JO’s.  And just like that we were out of there.

She was thrilled with her swims.  Having two JO times she gets her bag tag and t-shirt but also gets to swim at Spring Champs.  She swims great when rested and is excited about both meets.

After the meets they get a two-week break and we head into LC season.  Grace loves long course and is excited for the change of pace.  The car ride home was lively conversation.   About shopping.  Teenagers are great.  Did I just say that?

Did someone say showdown?

This coming weekend is our February qualifier meet for kids who are trying to make JO cuts.  Twelve and unders have a double session on Saturday, and the older kids a double session on Sunday.

Grace decided to make life difficult.  She is less than half a second from the cut in 7 events.  She can only swim 5 at this meet.  In the end it is a roll of the dice deciding what to swim.  I am not worried about her, she has been working her tail off in practice and she will do well.

As luck would have it – I have two kids who are under 12 so they are in the same meet.  This rarely happens.  Sarah and Sophie are both swimming Saturday.

Sophie who is 8 is taking on her first 100 fly.  She was willing to give it a shot and even if she doesn’t get the JO cut she will be close.  Keep in mind it is a 9-10 event!  I was happy she was agreeable to swimming it, 100 fly is something a lot of kids are afraid of.  She is nervous but also excited to give it a try.

In the afternoon Sarah is swimming 3 events and Sophie 1.   The inevitable has happened – they are both swimming 50 fly.  That isn’t the good part.  They are seeded next to each other.  Not one single kid could fill that .18 gap between the two.  Not a single kid.  Shit.  And don’t forget, the 8-year-old is faster than the 11-year-old.

I would love to tell you that these two don’t compete.  That would be complete bullshit.  Sarah and Sophie are in competition with one another even in their sleep.  Their lives are a constant battle of who is cuter, smarter, faster and right.  “No you aren’t” isn’t the most common phrase spoken between the two.  When they are actually speaking to each other.  It isn’t love – hate.  It might be a stretch to call it  like – hate.

You are probably wondering what things are like at my house right now.  I am glad you asked.  They are wonderful.  Because I haven’t told them.  Denial is bliss.  I don’t plan to tell them.  They will figure it out Saturday.

They are both fierce competitors with something to prove.  This is an individual sport.  They can fight it out in the pool.  I don’t think it is going to be pretty.  But I do expect it to be gloriously awesome.

I think we will take two cars though.   Just in case.

 

 

Really Grace, you too?

Grace woke up the day after I took Sarah to the Doctor, complaining of acute chest pain.  I usually know when my kids are sick, their coughs keep me up at night.  I hadn’t heard a peep from her roon, quite close to ours.  I agreed to let her stay home for the day.

I had to teach a few classes so left her home.  I got a call from her begging me to sub out my yoga and to get her to the Doctor.  She is not one to want to go to the Doctor so I obliged, subbed the class, made and appointment and raced home to pick up Grace.

She was pale and very quiet.  If there was any doubt before, I was certain now that she needed to see the Doc.

Our pediatrician spent a sizeable amount of time listening to Grace’s chest and back.  She listened to her lungs and heart, each enough times to cause some concern.  She then looked in her eyes, ears, mouth and nose. quietly she put all of her instruments down and with two fingers pressed on an area about an inch from Grace’s armpit.

Grace, all five feet and seven inches of her, almost threw her Doctor across the room.  The source of pain had been located.  Little miss sunshine had sore muscles.  Turns out she has been doing push ups and crunches a few times a day to increase her strength.  Grace out her head down and a small smile crept onto her face.

Turns out, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.  She too had been google searching her pain.  She missed the diagnosis target by a mile.  She thought one of the following (and in no particular order):

Heart Attack
Lung Cancer
Asthama
Pneumonia

We left giggling and decided to celebrate with a lunch out.  She asked me not to tell anyone.  She must have known that wouldn’t happen!

It’s a disease?

True to form, Sarah has been complaining of foot pain lately.  For some reason every spring she has managed to injure a body part.  We have been through two stress fractures and one pulled tendon in the knee.  This time around she was having ankle pain which I was attributing to the Achilles tendon.

I feel like I have earned an MD since having kids.  A google MD that is.  After complaining about the pain for a few weeks I decided to take her to our orthopedic specialist.  I say “our” like we own them.  We might.  When we leave they say “see you in six months”.  When your kid has the nickname scrappy it is bound to happen.

After a few X-rays it was determined that Sarah has Sever’s Disease.  I gave an air fist pump and Napoleon Dynamite style “YES!’.  I hit the self diagnosis jackpot.  Love google.

Sarah’s eyes got enormous….I HAVE A DISEASE?  Sounds frightening doesn’t it?  It is actually quite common amongst active kids.

Sever’s disease, also called calcaneal apophysitis, is a painful bone disorder that results from inflammation  of the growth plate in the heel. A growth plate, is an area at the end of a developing bone where cartilage cells change over time into bone cells. As this occurs, the growth plates expand and unite, which is how bones grow.

Sever’s disease is a common cause of heel pain in growing kids, especially those who are physically active. It usually occurs during the growth spurt of adolescence, the approximately 2-year period in early puberty when kids grow most rapidly. This growth spurt can begin any time between the ages of 8 and 13 for girls and 10 and 15 for boys. Sever’s disease rarely occurs in older teens because the back of the heel usually finishes growing by the age of 15, when the growth plate hardens and the growing bones fuse together into mature bone.

Sarah is going to live.  No need to send flowers.  But it sure makes the painful decision not to play soccer in the spring seem like a brilliant one.

We decided to push the “no weight-bearing activities” treatment plan a little.  She won’t practice futsal but will play her last three games.  She is willing to deal with the pain, knowing it will be the end.

We did get some good news.  Sarah, the smallest on the growth scale of the three, may end up the tallest.  The upside of large growth plates at 11?  Lots of growing left to do.

And once again, thanks to Sarah, we have met our annual deductible by February!  I love my scrappy girl.

Some you just don’t forget

Sophie has a meet this weekend. The annual Gender Blender meet. Boys vs. Girls. Sophie cannot wait for this meet. Me? I am a nervous wreck. She is trying to make the 50 fly JO cut at this meet. She will be the first kid in our family to get a 9-10 JO cut at 8 if she does it. And since we are done having kids, she would also be the only.

I will be the first to admit when my kids have a pie in the sky goal. In this particular case though she has everything it takes to reach her goal. I’m worried that if she doesn’t she will be really disappointed. Without discouraging her from doing her best I have also told her that it isn’t a big deal if she doesn’t make it. She has one more shot. Oh and two more years!

Above all I told her no crying. Her memory is better than mine, she said nothing could top last year! How long ago this seems. How could I have forgotten this one?

Just add water

I am pretty confident she will do well. There are a few obnoxious boys in her group that she would like to teach a thing or two. Grace assured her that they get worse not better as they get older. Gracie’s advice? Don’t beat them. Destroy them.

Grace wants to go cheer her on. I suspect in part because she will get out of her 6:30 am practice. Sarah is even pulling for her, even though this means baby sis will be faster than her in that event.

Keep your fingers crossed for baby fly girl.

Decisions, indecisions…

Sarah has spent the last two weeks in a period of indecision. She has been struggling to decide if she wants to return to her soccer team for the spring season. It had already been decided this would be their last season together as a team. Sarah has been with this team for over four years. She had created a lot of found memories with this group of girls.  Her coach is the only soccer coach she has ever really known.  The dynamic of the team has changed somewhat over the years, kids have come and gone. Despite that, it seems like they have been together forever even though Sarah is one of two girls from the original team.

I was really surprised by her indecision. Sarah is anything but undecided. The final outcome though didn’t surprise me at all.

Sarah wanted to ride it out to the end. She wanted the final hurrah. It saddens me that this dynamic group of strong, independent fierce young girls will no longer be battling it out on the muddy fields. It seems unimaginable not to have our twice a year-end of seasons together. No more bon fires, hay rides or trips together for soft serve ice cream after a game in the hot sun.  This final season was sure to be fun.  Right?

Despite it being the last season, the coach was adding players to the roster, increasing the number of practices and stressing the level of intensity and commitment required for the last season.  We went from one to two and finally three practices or games that conflicted with swim practice.  Because Sarah was still able to get her swim time in we always went to the soccer practices.  When the coach added the last practice time Sarah was truly conflicted.

Yesterday was D-Day.  Having played a pretty decent Futsal game on Saturday even scoring, I was fairly certain she would decide to continue playing soccer.

I sat her down at noon.  We had a mandatory team meeting at 4.  I needed her decision.  She looked at me and for the final time said “mom, I don’t know what I want to do”.  I refused to make this decision for her so I said “Sarah, skip spring and let’s regroup in the fall.”  Her response.  Fine.  I typed an email to her coach and handed her my phone.  I asked for her to read it.  She added one line:

This is Sarah.  I will miss everyone.  I hope you have a fun season.  Love ya.

And then looked at me and said should I hit send.

I had to hide my emotion as I said yes.  That was the response I needed.  She needed to hit send.  And she did without hesitation.  It was heart breaking but also a total relief.  The decision was made.  By her.

I have had some time now to think about it and I think we are both mourning the loss of what no longer is.  The team she knew and loved has grown from baby faced first graders to preteen fifth grader.  They have grown, matured and become so much.  I will forever be grateful to her coach and the wonderful group of girls and parents for all of the wonderful memories we have made.  But it is time to move on.

We are looking for a new team in the fall.  Sarah will be in middle school.  She is such a strong young woman.  But also my baby.  I will always protect her and I think this break will be good for her.  She needs to be Sarah the soccer player, not Sarah, one of the many Red Hots.  She is ready to stand on her own.  I am proud of her.

SONY DSC

 

Not sure what to do with this one…

Sarah is playing indoor futsal.  Her soccer coach decided to do this rather than indoor soccer.  Sarah is not a huge fan of it so far.  There practices and games are on a gym floor and it involves more bouncing than indoor soccer.  It seems to be kind of hard on the body.

Her coaches last season with the girls is the spring season.  We just got the email with the practice days, times and fees for spring.  As a parent I have learned to ALWAYS ask my kids if they want to continue something before I pay for it.  I made this mistake once.  You don’t make that mistake twice.

I asked Sarah if she wanted to play the spring season.  Her response took me by surprise.

Sarah is all or none.  She IS or IS NOT going to do something.  Adamant, forceful, determined, firm, tenacious, stubborn and relentless are words I would use to describe Sarah.  I am pretty sure I have never heard her speak the words I don’t know.

Her response, you decide.

I went to her coach and explained to her what happened.  She agreed to give Sarah a week.  We are on day 5.   She will not commit to me if she wants to play or not.  I don’t care either way, I want her to be happy.  I can’t make this decision for her.  She has to decide.  Today I decided to ask her to list the pros and cons of continuing to play.  Pros – she sees her friends.  Cons – she can’t commit fully to swimming.

She has two more days.  I don’t have a clue what to do with a “you decide”.  It isn’t in Sarah’s character to be non committal.  I should be able to read what it really means.  I can’t.

 

As soon as you start moving

All three of my girls have been complaining of various aches and pains. They sound like 43 year old women. This, I know a lot about.

The truth of the matter is, they are working them hard in practice. I always know when the coaches have stepped it up a notch. My girls eat me out of house and home, yet look lean and strong. They also willingly put themselves to bed. And getting them up in the morning requires a bullhorn.

Sarah and I were walking into the pool tonight and she said “my abs hurt”. I need to give credit where credit is due. Her soccer coach put them through a core workout last night that made my abs cry just watching it.

I realized that when they complain about aches and pains I start every response with “as soon as you start moving…”. And then I send them downstairs so I can sit on my tired achey 43 year old butt for two hours.